heartless
1.Devoid of compassion or feeling; pitiless.
i think i'm becoming that. unfeeling. uncaring. unkind. unemotional. unsympathetic. hard-hearted. cruel. there.. guess i've trashed myself enuff i suppose. next!
ha. ironic. to think tt we used 2 b so close frens. used to. n so it went, she msged me last nite, sayin she was in pain n asked me 4 help. in wad kind of pain i dunno but it was like in d middle of d nite la. almost didn't wanna reply at all, juz as i haven't been all along. besides, carmie n sf were chillin at my house, wld rather talk 2 dem anyway. den i got a quick missed call. d kind tt starhub free incoming call users give. carmie said she had 2 b checking if my phone was switched on. man, i wldn't haf thot of tt if she hadn't told me. i mean wad the?? it wasn't till dey were abt 2 leave tt carmie suggested i shd at least msg her back if not call. *shrug*
thereafter i thot tt i'd better msg her, cuz i wldn't wanna b d last person she tried 2 contact if she really really died or somethin. haha.. sounds morbid i noe. but wad d hell. so i replied. nothin. den i finally decided 2 call juz 2 make sure she didn't already die. still nothin. dead? haha. am i making dis seem farnie? well, den i called hy 2 confirm my suspicions abt her death. realised dey kinda quarrelled juz b4. she has been paranoid over stuff, feelin insecure abt hy's feelings etc blah blah blah.. i knew it. tt's y i heard frm her. how typical. tt settles it. den i msged her : 'look..called u but u din pick up so i've done wad i shd.pls dun come 2 me only wen dere's no1 by ur side cuz i'm no longer d same dodo u once knew alrite.' somethin 2 tt effect. n something abt dodos r already extinct so let it stay tt way. so corny n lame still. haha.
ya i'm talkin abt lirong. unfeeling n hard-hearted, tt's wad i haf become eh? got an sms frm hy dis morning abt how i've wronged lr n tt she's no longer d same anymore n wad nots. bah.. humbug.. heard enuff. done enuff. said she's destined not 2 haf any closed ones beside her, juz cuz i'm gone, when all dis while she still has so many who stood by her. as always, nv appreciates wad she has. if dey knew wad she'd said dey'd be so hurt la. i'm glad i am where i am. rid of emotional dependency. think tt shd be d last i will hear from her. closes 1 of d chapters in my life. for good.
i haf indeed changed quite drastically. 4 better or worse? we shall see.
心情...
8 years ago
2 comments:
You don't have to mention her name, I also know it's her. =)
well, I think you were a bit harsh with her... if she had come to me, I'll prolly do my part as a friend to comfort her. so yah. do u get what i mean?
sigh. well, i guess it's only human for her to look for you for company when she n her xing fu falls apart. after all, you sticked by her when we gradually drifted away.
funny aint it?
she used to have thousand n one people vying for a chance to be there for her.
now?
haha.. yeah agree. used to. more than a thousand n one pple i shd think. but like i said.. i dun feel now hehe.. so i dun really give a hoot. somehow i dun really wanna be her fren anymore. i mean i really dun wanna be her fren anymore. she prolly realises tt i think, tt's y she came 2 find me instead of u. try hanging on 2 me. i guess la haha.. sounds so chou mei rite? :) but anyway i'm really past tt. it's too late. period.
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