some thoughts

finally managed to go through my friendster account.. received quite a few msgs from some friends. so sweet of them. was juz mentioning to peilin after her netball carnival that i've been seeing n hearing stuff from my past recently. like the pple i used to hang out with, the latest updates of some old friends, the music i used to listen to.. then she said maybe it's time to catch up with my old frens again. i think it's a sign i'm getting old haha.. saw her coach at the carnival. his hair's greying at the sides. he looks old n tired to me. my coach's face flashed in my mind that instant n i realised that she too is getting on in years. hope they've lived their lives pretty much the way they wanted it, since they've given so much of theirs towards the enrichment of others. so wei da can..

met up with a minor accident late fri night when i was in this cab. i swear my life almost flashed past my eyes as it happened haha.. think i'm still a little shaken from the experience even though it was not my first. thank God for keeping me safe. each time it happens i get increasingly freaked out by how fragile life is. so i shd resolve to live my life to the fullest!! shall do my best then :)

-jaded-

according to one dictionary, jaded: worn out; wearied. hmm.. maybe i'm just that.

my principal came up to me shortly after the dismissal of the pm session today and asked me, "still here?... are you being overloaded?" haha.. i wanted to scream yes i feel so!! but then again i thot maybe i'm the one who needs to spend more time n effort in managing my time.. hehe.. talk abt the irony of it all man..

well, i am tryin to cope with many things at one time. guess i've been going on n on abt this for some time now. had a really long talk with lina last nite. i do feel better. been really emotionally dependent recently. especially on peilin. haha.. she so poor thing la.. but i'm glad she's been ard. at many points in life there's always someone i needed who wld always be there. and i thank God for that. well.. i'm gonna fight on! :)

boo

shortly a few days after my last post i received a text from audrey. this came as quite a surprise for me as i didn't expect it from her. she sent me her love and told me that if i needed she wld be there for me. thanks ya. i noe u're busy with ur life n all, but that was sweet of u :)

haven't been slpin well lately. dealing with the allergic rash that has been around for goodness knows how long, recurring stomach upsets, bouts of headaches, and now an asthmatic cough coming its way.. bleah.. it's the stage where murphy's law applies: anything that can go wrong goes wrong. oh well, i'm not just lamenting la, also trying to make things right again. one at a time i guess. perhaps there r many lessons to be learnt in the midst of all these now, but i'm simply not seeing it. not rite now at least. i do know however that i will in time to come. that's the thing with me. it's still better than not seeing it anyhow rite? yeah :)

think carmie's heading back to aussie soon n i have yet to meet up with her at least for the 2nd time? the last we met for a seniors juniors frenly at sa and had dinner together after that. gotta find time to catch up with her and pass her something i got for her before she flies off again.

bbaxn season is gonna start soon. this time i wanna make sure that i train regularly at least to keep myself fit enough for the games. haha.. my new year resolution. that's abt it.. chaos!

I Wish You Love

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

And in July some lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
And most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
And most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love

And most of all
When snowflakes fall

Rachael Yamagata

2007

the year starts with a whole load of mixed feelings for me. there were good ones, not so good ones, bad ones, all rolled into one. guess it's more intense now with all the complications arising, be it at work or at home or with friends and loved ones.

there are many things which i admit i would have done differently if i had the choice to turn back time. but here i am now, n it seems there's no longer a 2nd chance for me to change things. i can only move on from where i am and look ahead. easier said then done though. certain wounds simply refused to heal. i can only wish the best for you.

okies, for a start i shall juz pick up the pieces from where i left off. it's been some time since i was last here. i'm taking a senior class this year. much more work, many more problems to settle, many more meetings, much more stress. well i guess that's just the way it is. this was nv meant to be easy. need to get a breather every now n then, but i shd manage.

shanice has given birth to a cute little boy called tristan late last year. n who named him? it was none other than yours truly :) hope she continues to be happy in everything she does n i wish keith n her a life full of excitement n a marriage of bliss.

kalai turned 21 this year. hehe.. celebrated her birthday at acid bar followed by part 2 along the streets. did we get wasted man! haha.. hope she had lots of fun..

on a heavier note, my granny has been diagnosed of ovarian cancer in the 3rd stage. this really came as a shocker to me. completely threw me so off balance that i avoided addressing the problem for quite some time. now that i've moved back home i wish i can do my part as i shd have done way before. there's always a first step for everything. although it was with such a heavy heart that i left where i was, i do wish love to those i had to significantly leave behind. no one can have the best of both worlds.

i thank those who have been there for me all this whole time regardless. it's the littlest things which make friends worthwhile. i wanna thank: kathryn, shanice n kaiqi for remembering me everytime despite my terrible absence, ting for being my listening ear when i wanna gripe abt life, hannah for being such the practical advisor, jass for being so cute i forget the unhappy stuff that grip me, lina for being ard when i least expect it, peilin for staying up with me all my tearful n sleepless nites, mag for her concern even in the midst of her own problems, peilee for the occasional n lovely text msgs, duck for making me feel better just by the nice things he says, n kalai for all the times of fun n laughter peace n joy. i'll never forget :)

last of all.. i wish ewe love..