Hols are heRe

juz came back from the nanyang alumni 1 day johor trip late last night. boy was it fun! haven't enjoyed myself so much like this for quite some time. n this trip signifies the commencement of the june sch hols!! haha.. finally can get some time to settle down n do some real preparation for term 3 lessons. still got so much to learn abt autism n stuff.

waiting for kalong, kar-toon n kalai to finish watching tv so we can start our mahjong session! haha.. okies shall go off le..

hmm.. sometimes i think i hold on to words more than i realise.. well.. ??

updates??

whoa.. i'm back after MIA for so long.. haha.. everything has been good. i'm now a converted associate teacher, presently taking an asd class in my school. how cool's that? turning asd too soon though! :)

n i still lurve all my friends.. shall be keeping in touch with some soon.. haven't done that in a long time. shall be back!!

Terminator 4

this show was screening even before i knew or was prepared for it.. bleah.. so much for waiting..

inner chaos

a touch on the face speaks volumes... ...or does it?

confusion reigns and the sky is grey once again..

2006

new day.. new year.. new encounters.. may it be a blessed one :)

thoughts

i promised myself juz some time ago for a dear fren's sake (who doesn't noe) that i wldn't drink unnecessarily. well.. i juz had some, quite unnecessarily, n feeling really woozy. can hear my heartbeat in my head increasing in such decibels. it wasn't to drown sorrows or anything lidat though. this time a certain other fren is doing that, i'm juz here to keep her company.

n now, as i read jinx's blog's last entry, my tears started to pour. i always knew she played the piano beautifully n was really talented at it. either she juz nv realised it or the pple ard who have heard her play didn't give her half the credit she always deserved. perhaps she nv saw herself the way i always did. u see.. i'm happy for her. truly. and am glad she still keeps me in her list of pple whom she asks God to bless n keep. i wish her every happiness life can bring. and wish her true inner joy for being herself, that she embraces everything that comes along in life. perhaps things may not go back to the way they used to be. i juz wan to always be ard when she needs someone.

zero

expectations always bring disappointments. almost without fail..

darn.. i juz dun get it do i?!
no more expectations from me. period.

ghost of yOu aNd me

it's weird how some things have passed for 2 years n yet still surfaces in ur mind when u least expect it.

took me quite by surprise this time.

dunno why it still haunts me.

i swear i've gotten over it.

well.. perhaps not quite..

gum gum bubblegum

lalalala.. hey u.. (yes u!!) u noe who or wad i mean by the title rite? haha.. anyway i got this today: "always seek first to understand rather than be understood.." wow.. it's almost like an answer man. hmm.. i wonder...? could it be....? oh well..

so i nv actually thought abt it concretely b4 but this certain someone who quoted the above has indeed taught me many things since the day our paths crossed. it didn't really occur to me much till i heard myself saying these words to others. sometimes i think God really does work in miraculous ways so beyond our limited minds' comprehension. thank you.

took leave off from work tmr. though this day has been approved like more than a mth ago, i realised juz yest that it turned out it was quite a bad day to be on leave. kinda like a day where many things were happening n needed to be done. plus 2 new admin staff will be coming. sigh.. alritey.. full steam ahead from friday onwards.. dear Father, please grant me the strength n wisdom for me to always exercise integrity n excellent character in all that i do. amen.

beHind tIme

okies.. this is in honour of sick birdie..hey jass jass!! :) haha.. okies i haf not blogged for a long time.. not that nothin interesting's been happening.. prolly too busy.. (excuse!) or maybe i juz have too many things to say that i dun wanna bother..

anyways, got a msg from marc the other day abt the boys going into action again for paya lebar cup, wish them all the best, perhaps i can watch their 2nd match tmr. hmm.. think i muz make it a point to go cuz i kinda miss them.. haven't heard the crappy boys for some time already..

pple at work hav been really good to me. thank God for that. hope i can always do my job well.

bumped into yaqi today while on my way to ny for frenly with ling yun. it's been so long since i last saw her.. kinda lost contact when she changed her phone, so was really glad when i saw her. still somewhat the same, flamboyant n all.. n not working at the moment. time for me to make it a point to meet up with her n do some catching up! before she plunges herself into the working world again.. lucky girl.. so carefree now..

hmm.. think my life's been revolving around lots of changes recently.. cannot say i'm entirely adjusted to it all yet, i'll juz haf to get used to certain things. i always noe that the only constancy in life is change, but somehow i cannot bring myself to overlook the iminent possibilities that changes bring. how ironic. perhaps i need more time to deal with everything.

still seekin to be understood.. that's all..

unreason

no.. i'm not fine.. but thanks so much for asking..

i'm sick.. depressed.. stressed.. upset.. n worst of all misunderstood..

care n concern for others is seriously over-rated. perhaps it's time to denounce it.

maybe it's my time to disconnect from the world cuz tears only do so much.

一路北向

后视镜里的世界
越来越远的道别
你转身向背
侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追
竟听见你的泪

在车窗外面排徊
是我错失的机会
你站的方位
跟我中间隔着泪
街景一直在后退
你的崩溃在窗外零碎

我一路向北
离开有你的季节
你说你好累
已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹
过往的画面
全都是我不对
细数惭愧我伤你几回

后视镜里的世界
越来越远的道别
你转身向背
侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追
竟听见你的泪

在车窗外面排徊
是我错失的机会
你站的方位
跟我中间隔着泪
街景一直在后退
你的崩溃在窗外零碎

我一路向北
离开有你的季节
你说你好累
已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹
过往的画面
全都是我不对
细数惭愧我伤你几回

我一路向北
离开有你的季节
方向盘周围
回转着我的后悔
我加速超越
却甩不掉紧紧跟随的伤悲
细数惭愧我伤你几回
停止狼狈就让错纯粹

周杰伦

hole..

i'm such a freaking lousy fren.. sucks..

sorry jinx..

Underserving

i came online thinking i had loads of things to put into words..
n now as i'm staring at this page i feel as if my mind's never been more empty..

someone says: pple move on into diff stages in life, with diff frens n diff lifestyle.. so u put those who belong in the past in the past..

i say: humans are mean beans n they hanker after wad's new, forgetting the old.. we all do that..

well.. whichever way u put it, we're juz such limited beings aren't we? cannot help it at all. juz can't. maybe i think too much.

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Goo Goo Dolls

like a cloth woven..

today a dear fren of mine actually told me that some things have changed n are no longer wad they used to be. she feels that the days of openly sharing her feelings n experiences were over. n i didn't even see it coming. during our chat online i was thinking to myself: not like i intentionally kept myself from her such that we drifted wad.. did i? d 3 of us who used to be so comfortable together.. have we lost that in oblivion? sigh.. gotta fix this if we can.

----------

i noe this person who's suffering from dyslexia. she juz told me recently that it's not even mild dyslexia in her case. so i suppose she means she's severely dyslexic. i always thot there was only one symptom to this. like spelling ramble as ramdle and buona vista as bouna vista. during the course of one conversation unrelated to this matter, i learnt from another certain someone however that there are other even more serious repercussions to this particular disorder. the reason why i was so interested to find out abt dyslexia was this. the person in question really impressed me. she's so professional n confident in her daily work n all.. one cld nv have guessed it. well, still i noe she has many other things to deal with besides this, so that makes me stand in awe of her even more sometimes. quite an inspiration..

aRigaTo

ok, here's the photo we took at the sajc alumni dinner. my dearie classmate yanling actually took d effort to send this to me, how sweet of her.

well, there were only like 7 from our class who went, still it was quite a joy seein them, n all the rest of my bball mates too of course, juz too bad we didn't snap any shots.
so it seemed junyang was d ultimate centre of attraction but we didn't really feel as ultra 'xinfu' as some of the near screaming waitresses n younger juniors who were waiting anxiously behind the camera person who was taking this shot so that they can start to mob him haha.. it was great seein some of class 2A4 again, wish there were more who came though. oh.. jy's still shorter than me.. aiyo.. tsk tsk.. haha so mean to still tease him abt this even now.. well, i kid..


so here's my thank you list for the day:

thank yoU for everything.. the trouble dolls n heartfelt chats n eating outs n shopping sessions n sharing n trust n joy u bring to me all these years..

thank yOu for the pulley n key chain n lollipop n smiley n minna n the fun n the laughter yOu brought to my life..

thank YoU for the constant weeks of convenience at ur inconvenience that i may enjoy the grace i've been promised n warm milk n ocassional talks that we've had before drifting off to sleep..

thank You for the simple friendship n times when we had to scrimp n save juz to get a coloured drink..

thank ewe, for simply being ewe. wouldn't have wanted it any other way..

n last of all, thanks to God for having given me everything n all the love n care that i never really deserved..

Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when I’m dreamin' of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know
And anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it’s all said and done
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

3 Doors Down

What A Mess!

The loss of mystery has led to the loss of majesty.

The more we know, the less we believe.

No wonder there is no wonder.

We think we've figured it all out.

Strange, don't you think?

Knowledge of the workings shouldn't negate wonder.

Knowledge should stir wonder.

Who has more reason to worship than the

astronomer who has seen the stars?

Than the surgeon who has held a heart?

Than the oceanographer who has pondered the depths?

-Max Lucado-

bashful brilliance

beautiful ain't it? like d sun's peeking thru the leaves..

moment captured but soon to be lost..