finally me..

hey to all my frens.. haven't been able to blog man.. no comp no time haha.. juz saying i miss u all.. n tk care.. muacks..

used lizard.. especially u ah.. :)

shit helps

ewe constantly remind me it's not so bad..

Nobody's Child

As I was slowly passing
An orphan's home one day
I stopped for just a little while
To watch the children play
Alone a boy was standing
And when I asked him why
He turned with eyes that could not see
And he began to cry

I'm nobody's child
I'm nobody's child
Just like the flowers
I am growing wild
I've got no mommy's kisses
I've got no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me
I'm nobody's child

No mommy's arms to hold me
Or soothe me when I cry
'Cause sometimes I feel so lonesome
I wish that I could die
I'd walk the streets of Heaven
Where all the blind can see
And just like all the other kids
There'd be a home for me

I'm nobody's child
I'm nobody's child
Just like the flowers
I'm growing wild
I've got no mommy's kisses
I've got no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me
I'm nobody's child

The Beatles

reason

cuz i'm a quitter.. that's why..

hehe.. found it that farnie eh? :)

anyway i'm quitting my job. period.

snippets of life

p: 'hey look.. there's a tree lizard..' p points 2 a tree not far off from where they were standing. d tiny creature moves a lil up the tree.

k: 'there's one..'

p: '..??..' *puzzled* the lil thing runs further up the tree.

p: 'there.. do u see?' p points again.

k: 'that's one la.. where's the rest?!'

p: 'tree lizard! tree lizard! not three lizards!!??'

haha.. there u go.. juz for laughs episode 1. the above story is a true life account. any similarities to anyone life or dead is purely intentional. dedicated 2 those in need of hearing aids :)

where's the silver lining?

i am so...

FATIGUED..

physically..

mentally..

emotionally..

why..??

i dunno wad to think anymore. the things that i used to respect n love have denatured in such tremendous ways there's no stopping it. maybe it was ongoing but i juz didn't see it. now i noe wad u mean carmie. now i know. if only i had seen it coming. or maybe i was consciously resisting coming to terms with it. n it's really getting to me a little. quite a huge amount of 'little' there actually.. the realisation hit as i was sitting alone in my room after a whole day of action, juz reflecting on recent incidents. recent happenings. recent major events. recent friendships. recent anything within my own circle of late. i feel torn apart. i hate this feeling. n ewe still dun get it.

sigh..

will it change?

cheers

hey peeps.. jiayou for tmr's match ya?! hmm.. u noe who u are k.. all jiayou.. i'll watch.. love :)

is it ewe again?

ewe haf no idea do ewe?! :(

thankew

thanks carmie dear :) feeling sucky n sick.. lately always this kind of mood. shd cheer up eh. *cough cough*

sad sad peefee

sigh.. dun think i will be blogging that often anymore.. gotta limit surfing 'non work related' websites cuz lady boss' checking our server pretty often now. bleah.. anyway we lost our match to ling yun. well same old story, played really well 1st half. we got as near as 3 points lead by them. that was where the turning point had to be. but we kinda lost the energy to carry on n blew it.. lost in the end by 22. sigh.. very sad today.. still dunno why really.. jiao lian said we played well la.. hmm.. spending the nite at kalai's place. not in the mood to go back home. sad.. =(

To forgive is Divine

i ain't a very forgiving person am i?! actually it's quite rhetorical, considering my behaviour of late. i could do away with some of the things i 'preach' around. like tellin fifi to always do the right thing blah blah blah.. cuz i ain't practising it man. pleh.. i was tellin kalai last week i really should be going back to church soon. remember tellin carmie that once too. n marc as well i think, n whoever else for that matter.. then today a sudden realisation hit me.. i'm going straight to hell if He comes back for us at this moment. but from where i am rite now, i feel kinda lost. need some direction man. haven't been the salt n light for so long.. i'd already lost track of time.

steering back to the forgiveness thingey. maybe i shd juz forget abt everything n put down the anger that's been harboured within me. it's really harder to stay angry than to be amiable. besides, isn't being angry with ur brother equivalent to murdering him? i definitely remember this commandment, but somehow i subconsciously yet deliberately pushed it right to the back of my mind. yeah that's wad it is. time to let go n let God. leave everything behind n start afresh. min min!! if u see this, haha.. well.. u shd juz ask me wad i mean. but perhaps u cld already guess :)

hope i find the new me. n find God in my life. i need to.

RouNd twO

hmm.. d draw results r out. sajc hcjc ajc njc. not easy of course. but i haf faith in my sa juniors! dunno if i can go support. really wish i could though. anyway i hope they play according to their true abilities. my dearest carmie.. u jiayou okies?! lead the team well :) God bless.

boo!!

so i found something to do. jio kalai 2 watch coach carter after her training after my work. turned out it wasn't showing as yet though. only sneaks i think. unless we wanted 2 catch some ulu machiam indian movie haha.. so we shopped n shopped n shopped around north point.. n then shopped even more.. in like only juz 2 or 3 shops man.. haha.. fun! cuz she's a real spastic goon. n i love her for that hehe.. we got this troupe of soft toys consisting a green elephant, 2 pink monkeys n 2 orange monkeys at this super cheap value shop. wad a weird combi rite haha.. crazy.. but they're quite cute wor.. :)

walked till most of the shops started closing, after which we walked back to her place.. then this really spooky thing happened. kl was tellin me something when i heard this low, gruff n eerie dunno male or female dunno coming out from in front or behind voice saying 'hello.. hello.. hello..' freaky!! stopped kl n only then did she hear it too. i was pretty scared out of my wits can. the thing is it went on n on n it didn't stop la. haha.. so i was like 'tk out ur phone maybe it's that' but guess we were quite shaken up cuz it took quite a while b4 we managed to dig her phone out from her bag. some farnie number was calling n i suppose it accidentally went on loudspeaker.. she didn't even dare to pick it up when it called again haha.. so dan xiao.. na li zhi dao shi ta de lao shi! haiyah.. almost died.. bleah.. so that was it.. xu jing yi chang.. phew..

quote

"You don't have to understand people to love them"

too many cramps

so yesterday was the 'i dun care who went down to yuhua but i'm gonna play ball there till my lungs come out' day. gh was supposed 2 meet me but he flew my aeroplane! n cuz raymond was still slpin.. dang.. wad's with 'aeroplanes' nowadays la. argh.. but who am i to be bu shuang rite.. nobody.. hmm..

foong went down with houston n fred though, n i played with bin n gang as well. then there was this irritating tiny midget of a girl who almost freaking broke my back. wad the hell! wanna get even man, but no.. i shdn't be doing that. that wld be stooping low. so i played till i had cramps really bad. my right lower shin cramp, left thigh cramp, left calf cramp, even my right foot also cramp till the toes there. wad's wrong with me man. nv played so much bball in my life is it?! bleah.. no good.. luckily houston had yoko yoko with him, helped relieve my tensed muscles alot.. now i'm aching all over again, worse than ever after the match. think i'm juz on a bball fever rite now. it still feels good.

anyway on the train on my way to yuhua, clarissa (my colleague) suggested that i took part in some cc activities to get to know more frens. i shot her a quizzical look n said i haf lots of frens wad. then she went 'i mean get to know more guys that kind.'

?????!!!!!

haha.. wad??!! no way am i gonna go n get myself into some dumb cc social gatherings for this la!! the thought of it is a crack up man! my him shd at least play bball wad, then wld understand my own passion for it rite?! not some geeky nerd who goes to such 'functions' for goodness knows wad organised fun. ok i'm perhaps juz stereotyping too much here, but can't help it man. hehe.. but either way, me finding that someone? that's a far shot la. i'm fine by myself, with some frens. period. so abt that.. let God ba.. weird she shd suddenly pop that idea up.. n darn farnie.. hmm..

now i feel really bored.. wad shd i be doing today..? la la la la la..

ewe are not gonna believe it.. i've found the thing..!! heh.. :)

my yesterday

i super like this jay chow song.. very nice.. phew.. finally my day's gonna be over. dunno why but today was juz sucky la.. maybe i'll juz go play ball n play my lungs out or something to release my pent up agitations n all. i wanna quit ah!!

mad le.. haha.. anyway i left 2 hrs early yest. was really tired n not feeling well but went to watch d hwa chong match anyway. my xdz all playing man, got time of course muz go watch la! it's like during many times d hwa chong players on court were all ny gals lor.. how cool's tt.. :) saw joy n steph whom i used to always see in scgs when i was helping there.. they were like sec ones then.. nice to talk to them again. well, so hcjc kinda trashed rjc by 37 points. not surprising la. but so wasted man, i mean they shd get into d 2nd round more than some others who did. lynn was so sad she cried.. aww.. poor thing eh..

grabbed a bite at d nearby coffeeshop with kalai, phyllis, marc n some xdz. sir joined us too. then we went yuhua to play bball n phyllis went home. d bus ride there was super crazy la, laughed at stupid things non stop. so jialat, think i've been laughing these few days more than last 2 months combined eh!! haha.. like that then fun ma hor.. hmm.. think i accidentally hurt my ankle again while playing ball. quite pain. bleah.. irritated.

园游会

琥珀色黄昏像糖在很美的远方
你的脸没有化装我却疯狂爱上
思念跟影子在傍晚一起被拉长
我手中那张入场圈陪我数羊
薄荷色草地芬芳像风没有形状
我却能够牢记你的气质跟脸庞
冷空气跟琉璃在清晨很有透明感
像我的喜欢被你看穿
摊位上一朵艳阳 我悄悄出现你身旁
你慌乱的模样我微笑安静欣赏

我顶着大太阳 只想为你撑伞
你靠在我肩膀 深呼吸怕遗忘
因为捞鱼的蠢游戏我们开始交谈
多希望话题不断园游会永不打烊
气球在我手上 我牵着你瞎逛
有话想对你讲 你眼睛却装忙
连蛋糕跟你嘴角果酱我都想要尝
园游会影片在播放 这个世界约好一起逛

~周杰伦

:)

~~ewe just made my day without knowing it~~

bAd daY

frustration speaks for itself. needs no explanation nor questions. when u ask, it only goes to show that u dun understand one. that's abt it.

work's terrible today. everyone's bugging me. i'm doing my job here ok?! shoot. buzz off n gimme a break.