work week

juz got this temp job at astute thru liangmin. quite cool, basically we juz sit ard doing nothin much most of the time. well it's only like d 2nd day heh.. of course when i feel the prick of my conscience i start to remember how i'm supposed to list access profiles, log in as administrator n blah blah blah.. haha.. so mean. ok after this i'll conscientiously focus on my job k. love my life??

anyway i kinda decided to tk up the teaching course in nie. but i'll hafta wait for their reply of course so it's gonna tk some time. heard it's not tt easy to get in. oh well.. wherever God leads. anyway i really love church. making me think alot. yupz. n love everyones that come with it too.

kalai came with me to play mj with carmie, foong n jas last friday. thot it wld be weird inititally but it went well haha.. glad. i'm so gonna quit mj already. had enuff.. for now at least. muz get well first :)

mean beans

human beans r pretty weird sometimes.. they think they dunno wad they wan when they're already doing wad they wan.. cuz when they're doing that, they feel they wan something else.. weird dun u think?! haha.. who the hell am i talkin abt?! :)

waLk of Life

Sometime during last week I took a really long and peaceful walk down to a place I have always dreamed of visiting ever since I was a little girl. With someone who, just perhaps, had more in common with me than I could ever have imagined. It was nothing short of insightful and heartwarming as it turned out. Might have been what one describes as the nonsensical chatter in the wee hours of the morning, with the constant companion of the lulling wind, and even occasional drops of spirited water, but lessons were learnt nonetheless.

In the days to come, when I might stop remembering to count my blessings many a times, I hope I will recall this place, this peace, this sharing.. and realise I am indeed blessed. It was great.. I thank God for you.. :)

Untitled

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
And life goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
And life goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
And life goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

-Simple Plan-

That's What Friends Are For

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember

Keep smilin' keep shinin'
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
Ohh That's what friends are for

-Memoirs-

Grief is a most peculiar thing; we're so helpless in the face of it. It's like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it.

trinity

my heart...

my mind...

my soul...

burdened... but with the very thing that alleviates pain...

would ewe know...?

forgive seventy times seven

went to church with kalai on sunday. it was chinese service so it took a bit of getting used to initially. den guess wad.. the message was on forgiveness. Peter asked if forgiving someone for 7 times is enough. n Jesus said not seven times but seventy times 7 times. so it actually means infinite times cuz u dun tk it literally see..

it has to be a sign. for me that is. haha.. it's a lesson on 饶恕.. how apt. well.. i can do that can't i? learn to control my temper too. it's a start. i shall try to remember.

took d xlboys' game agst rivervale vista on monday. they won with a score of 73-34. cld haf done better but on the whole it was quite a good game. juz hope they enjoyed it. lots of silly comments here n there tt i cannot keep a str face to.. my power not as high as marc man.. anyway i'm proud of them. juz feel it's so wasted cuz we cld haf entered 2nd round if they had bucked up earlier. gotta work harder then..

been going out alot these few days.. but i'm just too lazy to blog abt it.. been hanging out with kalai, min min, peilee, cheryl, kx boys blah blah.. tt's all then haha.. bleah..

..untitled..

didn't i say that it would mean alot to me if u were there? well thanks..

we played like shit for our last match. or rather i played like shit.

think i'm in my incoherent state again.

why do i always get different treatment? i hate it. stop it already.

anyway no more matches.. no more problems. but i'm still sad..

see.. told u i was incoherent.

ok enuff of all this.. i've had enuff..

---------------

led the kx youth boys for their game agst pierce sec today at aljunied. it was cool, they played pretty well n beat them with quite an impressive score of 69-19. finally i see some proper moves n defence. although there's still much room for improvement, i'm happy that they managed to actually show wad they can do on court. hope they perform even better in d next game. marc will really be away this time for dades' game in tpy. jiayou ba everyone..

please grant me wisdom n strength.

接受

彷佛上一分钟 你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空
却模糊了我们的脸孔
哼过的歌到底是什么内容

彷佛已经自由 下一刻我变成风
吹过你的领空 差点失控
回忆在夜里闹得很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我懂 却担心言不由衷

我们都接受 一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重 诚实得过了头
不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由 剩下的那些感动 能记得多久

梁静茹

mumbLe muMble..

u just couldn't wait rite.. sigh.. maybe i was juz grumpy.. argh..

met up with carmie n foong briefly yesterday b4 i went 2 support kx youth match. we were shopping ard in jp 4 foong's shirt when we saw ecstasy walk out of this shop with her 'someone'. haha.. even though i kinda like knew it quite some time back, it was still kinda weird picturing them hand in hand.. n we just bumped rite into them. haha.. well i'm glad they're happy :)

we sat down in mos burger after tt n the 3 of us had this really serious discussion on star wars matters.. ok la it was stupid.. but undoubtedly rated highly on the funny list. haha.. do this again soon ya? loved the light sabre part hehe..

the kx vs gryphon (a) n kx youth vs new city games were played quite badly. they lost badly to teams whom they clearly could win. nothin much for me to say there.. it was really disappointing. guess there r really many things to brush up upon. hope they work harder now..

nothin much left to say. will be playing our last women's league game for the year later in the evening. agst ling yun youth.. kinda sad n all.. but it was a good season for all of us i shd think. i'm so glad everything turned out well.. may we finish up with a bang.

hmm.. it would mean an awful lot if u were there, so i hope u'd go :)

what else can i ask for.. ewe inspired me to scale greater heights..

我愿变成童话里 你爱的那个天使

hehe.. guess wad.. was the ultimate babysitter yesterday.. brought cheryl's lil sis celine, lil bro shawn, n lil cousin joey out 2 watch madagascar together with kalai at causeway point. so u see.. it's super taxing man.. gotta babysit 3 lil kids n 1 BIG kid muahahahaha.. it was extremely farnie la. loved d penguins they're hilarious. n the hypochondriac giraffe too. den kalai insists tt the penguins were the main characters cuz they're farniest.. hmm.. shi meh?! haha.. but they really cute la.. n skipper's so evil looking heh..

took d lil ones home after tt, then we headed for lor ah soo 2 support kx boys youth team agst tungshan. they lost by quite a substantial number of points but think overall i was really happy with their discipline. marc is quite proud of them la, there was at least some good play considering they're quite young n inexperienced as compared 2 d quite 'gigantic' opposing team. hope they do as well as they should for d following matches. hande's dad gave us a lift 2 marsiling.. then kalai went home n i met cheryl 2 play ball at spring court after tt. didn't leave till there was a first bus. haha.. think i'm mad. still haven't slept much.

got a missed call from marc ard 1am while i was there.. n when i called back, he let me listen to the kx youth team boys' loud n painstaking rendition of the whole of 童话. they used his phone to record it while they were still on their way home in the van. even though it sounded really out of tune at certain parts n it seemed as if they were all so shouting the song.. it was touching. dunno why but at tt moment it brought tears to my eyes. yeah.. i cried.. haha.. weird man. cuz i was juz suddenly filled with so much emotion. maybe it's the attachment to the boys. or maybe i juz feel it's so sweet of them to do that for marc. haha.. well.. whatever it was.. it was nice.

gonna meet kalai at bishan now to go support kx boys' game agst gryphon. jiayou ba.. shoot.. i'm so gonna be late.. bleah..

and so it goes...

ok.. so someone sent me this.. so i jus noe there's this intended msg in it all for me somewhere.. possibly everywhere.. but u noe wad.. my heart's juz too numb to even start n try n make anything out of it. so maybe i'm jus being indignant. so maybe i'm jus being plain stubborn. so there. period.

one hell of a read for me though. that's all it is. maybe i'm sub consciously grouchy from the whole lack of slp thingey.. wadever..

----------------------

How to Know a True Friend
Adrian Rogers

Did you know that the deepest need of the human heart is for intimacy? That s just another way of saying friendship. Now, I'm not talking about casual acquaintances or false friends, but true friends. Let me give you three marks of a true friend.

A true friend sharpens. He will make you a sharper person, a better person. Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." A true friendship will put an edge on your life. False friends dull your life, blunt your influence, and drag you down. Anybody who makes it easier for you to do wrong is not a true friend. One of the true tests of any friendship is asking yourself, "Am I a better person for having known this person?"

A true friend sticks. A true friend is steadfast. We read in Proverbs 17:17: "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." If you want to see who your real friends are, just make a mistake and see whether or not they leave you. Life is like a ship. Some people get on and off board very easily. Some will stay on board as long as everything is sailing smoothly; but let the rough weather come, and they will abandon the ship. A true friend is the one who will stick with you.

A true friend stabs. You say, "I don't want to be stabbed." Well, listen to Proverbs 27:6: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." A friend who really loves you will wound you if it's necessary. That is, he will tell you the truth and won't give you hypocritical kisses when he needs to do a little spiritual surgery on you. Flattery is not true friendship. A true friend cares enough to confront. I'm so grateful that throughout my life I've had those who would put their arms around my shoulders and help me when I've done wrong.

How to Be a True Friend

True friends are built. You don't make them overnight. Friendships are not toadstools; they are oak trees. Jesus said, "...Love one another, as I have loved you" (John 15:12). Now, that's the principle, but let me give you five secrets that come from it. If you will practice these, you will make you a great friend.

Accept. The Bible says in Ephesians 1:6 that God has "made us accepted in the beloved." We all want people to accept us. Jesus accepted the disciples. He said, "Ye have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you..." (John 15:16) Jesus did not accept the disciples because they were perfect but because they needed Him.

Acknowledge. Recognize people. Give them your full heart and attention. When you talk to people, listen to them also. Look them in the eye. Understand that people are important. They're a soul for whom Christ died. When we acknowledge others, we're saying, "You're important to me. I acknowledge your presence and your importance."

Appreciate. I got an e-mail from my son recently. It brought tears to my eyes because he said, "Dad, I'm just so grateful for the heritage that I have. Thank you." I could live six months on that. It didn't take him but a few minutes to write that little message, but it meant so much to me. Folks, you're lying if you say you don't want to be appreciated. Tell your husband, your wife, your children, or your friends that they are appreciated.

Affirm. Appreciation is for what people do; affirmation is for who people are. The Lord Jesus affirmed His disciples over and over again. It doesn't mean you approve of everything a person does when you affirm them. The Bible is full of affirmations, and yet it acknowledges the fact that we're sinners and that we fail. But affirmation is important.

Assure. Assure them that you understand. We all want empathy. The apostle Paul said in Romans 12:15: "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." Find a way to let people know that you're sensitive to what they're up against, what they feel, what they're going through. Assure them that you're there, and that, to your limited ability, you understand or you re trying to understand what they're going through.

True friendship is costly. It's not easy to maintain a friendship. Remember John 15:13: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." And Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." You must be willing to pay the price. But finding a true friend and being one in return is one of the best investments you can ever make.

情人不会忘记 (粤)

(电影"我家有一只河东狮"主题曲)

万一失了忆
就请你来提示我
分手那一幕 事发经过
有否哭过 跌得惨痛么
万一不记得
亦跟你熊熊热恋过
请你讲讲那阵子贪你什么

最恨最亲爱全忘记
我亦决不要遗忘你
生命并没什么可以记
若过去没有喜欢过你
要是我真正沉迷过
我如何可能遗忘你
用一生去受怕担惊
都要喜欢你

万一失了忆
就请你从头让我
想起你的坏 共你的错
至少准我 记得怎痛楚
十分想记得
若跟你原来幸福过
请你讲讲那日称呼我什么

最恨最亲爱全忘记
我亦决不要遗忘你
苦难受尽亦得不到你
未怨过在最初识相你
要是我真正沉迷过
我如何可能遗忘你
或者真相动魄惊心
都要想起你

张柏芝

some things were jus meant to be this way

wahaha.. guess wad.. juz came back from bball with cheryl poon n huiling n her fren at tmn jurong cc man.. time check.. it's like 7.30 am! not really wee hours of the morning la.. but wee enuff i suppose hehe.. think i'm seriously gonna die from a major lack of sleep.. still dun feel sleepy at all now though it seems cheryl's gonna die from exhaustion. hmm.. but she juz had a major game with aljunied last nite wad.. yeah.. anyway her whole family cept her dad (who's away) went 2 support her game can.. how sweet rite! envy those whose parents turn up for moral support.. lucky pple noe? muz appreciate yeah? :)

ny alumni trg resumed as usual saturday. it was really heartwarming to see more n more of d girls come back to just play bball together. huijing n sheah lin joined us. well kalai n i were late cuz we kinda overslept. 1st time i was late 4 trg n it felt really really bad.. wun let it happen again man. went kx trg after tt but didn't see much cuz by d time we reached there they were more or less finished. yupz.. den kl went home with me so i cld get my stuff n go back with her. think my granny super loves to talk to her la. cuz she talked to her non-stop all the while i was bathing n also after tt while i was packing my bag. nag nag nag.. haha.. well ok la.. still can tahan her.

d youth cup for boys has started n kx boys lost their 1st match to leng kee on sunday. hope they dun give up n aspire to do well 4 their next game.

i actually haf so many things tt i wanted to blog abt.. but didn't noe where to really start.. so tired.. n i dun mean literally.. hmm.. another day perhaps.

oh but i'll post up this super nice canto song lyrics. it's the song i've been really crazy abt lately. ah gu burnt it 4 cheryl n it's actually a song i've been trying to find 4 years. hehe.. so happy.. haha.. mad.. blah blah blah.. ok.. that's it.. over..

She Will Be Loved

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I’ve had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn’t matter anymore

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies
It’s compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door’s always open
You can come anytime you want

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Maroon 5

xIao bAo baO

hehe.. guess wad.. i'm one of the babies! that tickles.. wahahaha.. ;)

i'm back..

hmm.. been feelin much better lately.. think cuz i had a really good talk with my frens tt day after our match with stackers. kat n shanice came to watch my game eh! so honoured man.. was really a morale booster for me noe.. n we won la.. then they waited for me to finish my dinner n accompanied me home. tt's when i realised we haven't met up in such a super long time i miss talking 2 them so much!! my best sisters ah.. i may not always say this to u two but u girls rock my world u noe tt?! :) love ya all so much!!

ouch.. i have one quite big bruise on my left elbow.. think i got it cuz i fell down tt day playing ball at bt panjang.. ya i remember le la.. vesak day.. super aching all over.. i say this like forever hor.. think cuz been playing too much bball with pple i dun like or who dun like me.. bleah.. inflict injuries on myself. too ego la.. i need anger management.. go running more..

slack slack slack.. so shiok.. haha.. incoherence sets in again..

hmm.. ewe juz cheer up la okies?

whoopee

i juz realised i can be the most incoherent person in my entries ever.. how's that?! hmm..

post season

and so today marks the end of the a div finals. of course i was down at the sports hall to catch the action of my fave players.. what else is new rite? the scoreline was like 68-34 la.. double exactly. think on the whole hwa chong did quite about as well as they should. vjc was juz not experienced enough a team to even be on par. n siting got the mvp.. congrats to her!!

the guys' match was so much more exciting though. hci n tjc. tjc emerged the winner with a lead of 7 points. think they deserved it cuz they put up a really good fight agst wad u would call a branded team. haha.. can i call them that? branded team eh.. hmm.. it was a match worth watching till d very last, d game pumped with adrenaline throughout the entire 40 mins.. swell..

think phyllis was like quite sad.. cuz she cried. guess it really feels bad not being able to play at ur final finals game cuz of some stupid injury. ya man.. hope she's feeling better la.. dun like to see her cry.. hope she gets well enuff to play ny alum's last game? think we haf at least 2 more.. hmm.. we'll see..

one other person i noe is sad too.. cuz it's like u play in almost the same team for like almost 6 yrs den now u finally realise this is really it. gotta part ways n stuff.. sucks eh? i noe! but always believe that u all were the best that u all cld be, take comfort in that n hold this close to ur heart k? :)

so tired.. played bball from after watching finals till juz now like 2 am.. gosh!! i muz be crazy.. think i perspired like half a bucket man! didn't noe i cld still withstand tt long la.. having a game agst stackers later on.. hope i dun get bball block again like d last time agst t-net club. it was super sucky.. hate myself. bleah.. think i really need more rest!! when am i ever gonna knock enuff sense into my head to noe tt i actually need 2 sleep??!! wahaha.. gonna slp now.. muz recharge.. rebounds.. box out.. just do it.. swoosh man.. dream..

... ... ...

this sucks. that sucks. i suck. everything sucks. can i be in d shithole any longer? sigh.. to think i had so much hope n vision.. it's abt time i pull myself out man. it's all juz me.. me me me.. nothin else.. DUN even bother..

童话

忘了有多久 再没听到你对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久 我开始慌了 是不是我又做错了什么
你哭着对我说 童话里都是骗人的 我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂 从你说爱我以后 我的天空 星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局

你哭着对我说 童话里都是骗人的 我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂 从你说爱我以后 我的天空 星星都亮了

我愿变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局
我要变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局

我会变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局
一起写我们的结局

光良

hAve i toLd yOu laTely..

old habits die hard.. haven't been going home often recently.. cheryl's.. audrey's.. bleah.. bad thing? whatever.. not ready to trudge home n gear up for battle now. not at this time at least. transition bet jobs, and blah blah blah.. actually juz this is enuff to bring me constant, unending n recessant gibberish coming from the other bed every night. so i'd rather slp on d streets if need be. it is THAT bad.. so dun judge me, dun reprimand me, dun even try to dissuade me otherwise. be it out of true concern or juz as a good fren to another. cuz u'll nv understand what i haf to go thru. or what i've been thru. i'll really appreciate that :)

monday was semis for a div. went n supported all my xdz for their game agst jjc. was also rooting for cheryl though, so it was quite conflicting in a way. but of course i was supporting 6 hwa chong pple vs one cheryl in jjc so ya.. well hwa chong won so they'd be meetin vjc in the finals this coming friday. shdn't be any problem for them i feel. they shd win. anyway poor phyllis incurred this super bad sprain on her right ankle. swelled up really badly.. so now she's got this bump on her head, a newly stitched up chin, some big bruises on her knees, and a terribly swollen ankle with which she can't walk without d aid of crutches.. so xin tong man! sigh.. she attracts accidents.. poor phyllis.. hope she gets well soon.

almost managed to catch coach carter tues afternoon. but hell no, we didn't in the end.. stupid bus.. oh well.. once again, thwarted plans.. had lunch with kalai instead n shopped ard for a bit. had this really interesting fact finding session in north point popular. we were kinda discussing abt pregnancy hehe.. seriously. cuz we saw this book, well what do u know.. that talks abt pregnancy! all the dos n don'ts n usually unknown facts n stuff. then we drifted off to comment abt abortion blah blah blah.. n i really scared her with 'there r many ways to do it noe, sometimes the doc juz punches d patient a few times str in d stomach then it comes out'. ok.. i cannot believe she actually thot i was serious. well i tried my best to look it but didn't expect to be so convincing?! perhaps it was either that or she was juz clueless. still, it was super haha man.. cuz u shd haf caught the look on her face for a frozen split second of time. classic!! think we laughed the whole place down after that la. ok.. guess it was quite dumb.. yeah.. something worth mentioning here eh..? (",)

oh besides walking ard alot i've also been busy with one other thing. tutoring this notti lil boy called shaun. he's in pri4 n plays soccer n stays in bishan n looks quite cute n is actually marc's cousin. well talk abt good looks running in the family. helping hui to take over while she's in aussie. this boy is any tutor's nightmare. he's got an attention span of like 5 seconds n he talks all the time abt everything under the sun except homework. quite exasperating sometimes. but actually.. i dun mind la haha.. he's still cute. juz a lonely kid. siblings r way much older so there's no one to really talk to or spend time with at home cept for his 2 also very adorable cocker spaniels spunky n brownie. they r the cutest! guess i'm kinda able to relate to him cuz i believe in quite a similar way i was my tutor's nightmare back then too.. hehe.. hope i was of help, cuz he's in d midst of exams now.

so what else is new with me. hmm.. think tt's abt it. a few more matches n i guess we'd be done with women's league for this year. lost d last match agst tampines east. it was a dreadful game. cuz we cld haf won. somehow everything screwed up n we ended up being defeated 9 points. so close. darn. n my left knee n left shoulder r starting to hurt quite badly.

grant me strength please. n peace in my heart.

finally me..

hey to all my frens.. haven't been able to blog man.. no comp no time haha.. juz saying i miss u all.. n tk care.. muacks..

used lizard.. especially u ah.. :)

shit helps

ewe constantly remind me it's not so bad..

Nobody's Child

As I was slowly passing
An orphan's home one day
I stopped for just a little while
To watch the children play
Alone a boy was standing
And when I asked him why
He turned with eyes that could not see
And he began to cry

I'm nobody's child
I'm nobody's child
Just like the flowers
I am growing wild
I've got no mommy's kisses
I've got no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me
I'm nobody's child

No mommy's arms to hold me
Or soothe me when I cry
'Cause sometimes I feel so lonesome
I wish that I could die
I'd walk the streets of Heaven
Where all the blind can see
And just like all the other kids
There'd be a home for me

I'm nobody's child
I'm nobody's child
Just like the flowers
I'm growing wild
I've got no mommy's kisses
I've got no daddy's smile
Nobody wants me
I'm nobody's child

The Beatles

reason

cuz i'm a quitter.. that's why..

hehe.. found it that farnie eh? :)

anyway i'm quitting my job. period.

snippets of life

p: 'hey look.. there's a tree lizard..' p points 2 a tree not far off from where they were standing. d tiny creature moves a lil up the tree.

k: 'there's one..'

p: '..??..' *puzzled* the lil thing runs further up the tree.

p: 'there.. do u see?' p points again.

k: 'that's one la.. where's the rest?!'

p: 'tree lizard! tree lizard! not three lizards!!??'

haha.. there u go.. juz for laughs episode 1. the above story is a true life account. any similarities to anyone life or dead is purely intentional. dedicated 2 those in need of hearing aids :)

where's the silver lining?

i am so...

FATIGUED..

physically..

mentally..

emotionally..

why..??

i dunno wad to think anymore. the things that i used to respect n love have denatured in such tremendous ways there's no stopping it. maybe it was ongoing but i juz didn't see it. now i noe wad u mean carmie. now i know. if only i had seen it coming. or maybe i was consciously resisting coming to terms with it. n it's really getting to me a little. quite a huge amount of 'little' there actually.. the realisation hit as i was sitting alone in my room after a whole day of action, juz reflecting on recent incidents. recent happenings. recent major events. recent friendships. recent anything within my own circle of late. i feel torn apart. i hate this feeling. n ewe still dun get it.

sigh..

will it change?

cheers

hey peeps.. jiayou for tmr's match ya?! hmm.. u noe who u are k.. all jiayou.. i'll watch.. love :)

is it ewe again?

ewe haf no idea do ewe?! :(

thankew

thanks carmie dear :) feeling sucky n sick.. lately always this kind of mood. shd cheer up eh. *cough cough*

sad sad peefee

sigh.. dun think i will be blogging that often anymore.. gotta limit surfing 'non work related' websites cuz lady boss' checking our server pretty often now. bleah.. anyway we lost our match to ling yun. well same old story, played really well 1st half. we got as near as 3 points lead by them. that was where the turning point had to be. but we kinda lost the energy to carry on n blew it.. lost in the end by 22. sigh.. very sad today.. still dunno why really.. jiao lian said we played well la.. hmm.. spending the nite at kalai's place. not in the mood to go back home. sad.. =(

To forgive is Divine

i ain't a very forgiving person am i?! actually it's quite rhetorical, considering my behaviour of late. i could do away with some of the things i 'preach' around. like tellin fifi to always do the right thing blah blah blah.. cuz i ain't practising it man. pleh.. i was tellin kalai last week i really should be going back to church soon. remember tellin carmie that once too. n marc as well i think, n whoever else for that matter.. then today a sudden realisation hit me.. i'm going straight to hell if He comes back for us at this moment. but from where i am rite now, i feel kinda lost. need some direction man. haven't been the salt n light for so long.. i'd already lost track of time.

steering back to the forgiveness thingey. maybe i shd juz forget abt everything n put down the anger that's been harboured within me. it's really harder to stay angry than to be amiable. besides, isn't being angry with ur brother equivalent to murdering him? i definitely remember this commandment, but somehow i subconsciously yet deliberately pushed it right to the back of my mind. yeah that's wad it is. time to let go n let God. leave everything behind n start afresh. min min!! if u see this, haha.. well.. u shd juz ask me wad i mean. but perhaps u cld already guess :)

hope i find the new me. n find God in my life. i need to.

RouNd twO

hmm.. d draw results r out. sajc hcjc ajc njc. not easy of course. but i haf faith in my sa juniors! dunno if i can go support. really wish i could though. anyway i hope they play according to their true abilities. my dearest carmie.. u jiayou okies?! lead the team well :) God bless.

boo!!

so i found something to do. jio kalai 2 watch coach carter after her training after my work. turned out it wasn't showing as yet though. only sneaks i think. unless we wanted 2 catch some ulu machiam indian movie haha.. so we shopped n shopped n shopped around north point.. n then shopped even more.. in like only juz 2 or 3 shops man.. haha.. fun! cuz she's a real spastic goon. n i love her for that hehe.. we got this troupe of soft toys consisting a green elephant, 2 pink monkeys n 2 orange monkeys at this super cheap value shop. wad a weird combi rite haha.. crazy.. but they're quite cute wor.. :)

walked till most of the shops started closing, after which we walked back to her place.. then this really spooky thing happened. kl was tellin me something when i heard this low, gruff n eerie dunno male or female dunno coming out from in front or behind voice saying 'hello.. hello.. hello..' freaky!! stopped kl n only then did she hear it too. i was pretty scared out of my wits can. the thing is it went on n on n it didn't stop la. haha.. so i was like 'tk out ur phone maybe it's that' but guess we were quite shaken up cuz it took quite a while b4 we managed to dig her phone out from her bag. some farnie number was calling n i suppose it accidentally went on loudspeaker.. she didn't even dare to pick it up when it called again haha.. so dan xiao.. na li zhi dao shi ta de lao shi! haiyah.. almost died.. bleah.. so that was it.. xu jing yi chang.. phew..

quote

"You don't have to understand people to love them"

too many cramps

so yesterday was the 'i dun care who went down to yuhua but i'm gonna play ball there till my lungs come out' day. gh was supposed 2 meet me but he flew my aeroplane! n cuz raymond was still slpin.. dang.. wad's with 'aeroplanes' nowadays la. argh.. but who am i to be bu shuang rite.. nobody.. hmm..

foong went down with houston n fred though, n i played with bin n gang as well. then there was this irritating tiny midget of a girl who almost freaking broke my back. wad the hell! wanna get even man, but no.. i shdn't be doing that. that wld be stooping low. so i played till i had cramps really bad. my right lower shin cramp, left thigh cramp, left calf cramp, even my right foot also cramp till the toes there. wad's wrong with me man. nv played so much bball in my life is it?! bleah.. no good.. luckily houston had yoko yoko with him, helped relieve my tensed muscles alot.. now i'm aching all over again, worse than ever after the match. think i'm juz on a bball fever rite now. it still feels good.

anyway on the train on my way to yuhua, clarissa (my colleague) suggested that i took part in some cc activities to get to know more frens. i shot her a quizzical look n said i haf lots of frens wad. then she went 'i mean get to know more guys that kind.'

?????!!!!!

haha.. wad??!! no way am i gonna go n get myself into some dumb cc social gatherings for this la!! the thought of it is a crack up man! my him shd at least play bball wad, then wld understand my own passion for it rite?! not some geeky nerd who goes to such 'functions' for goodness knows wad organised fun. ok i'm perhaps juz stereotyping too much here, but can't help it man. hehe.. but either way, me finding that someone? that's a far shot la. i'm fine by myself, with some frens. period. so abt that.. let God ba.. weird she shd suddenly pop that idea up.. n darn farnie.. hmm..

now i feel really bored.. wad shd i be doing today..? la la la la la..

ewe are not gonna believe it.. i've found the thing..!! heh.. :)

my yesterday

i super like this jay chow song.. very nice.. phew.. finally my day's gonna be over. dunno why but today was juz sucky la.. maybe i'll juz go play ball n play my lungs out or something to release my pent up agitations n all. i wanna quit ah!!

mad le.. haha.. anyway i left 2 hrs early yest. was really tired n not feeling well but went to watch d hwa chong match anyway. my xdz all playing man, got time of course muz go watch la! it's like during many times d hwa chong players on court were all ny gals lor.. how cool's tt.. :) saw joy n steph whom i used to always see in scgs when i was helping there.. they were like sec ones then.. nice to talk to them again. well, so hcjc kinda trashed rjc by 37 points. not surprising la. but so wasted man, i mean they shd get into d 2nd round more than some others who did. lynn was so sad she cried.. aww.. poor thing eh..

grabbed a bite at d nearby coffeeshop with kalai, phyllis, marc n some xdz. sir joined us too. then we went yuhua to play bball n phyllis went home. d bus ride there was super crazy la, laughed at stupid things non stop. so jialat, think i've been laughing these few days more than last 2 months combined eh!! haha.. like that then fun ma hor.. hmm.. think i accidentally hurt my ankle again while playing ball. quite pain. bleah.. irritated.

园游会

琥珀色黄昏像糖在很美的远方
你的脸没有化装我却疯狂爱上
思念跟影子在傍晚一起被拉长
我手中那张入场圈陪我数羊
薄荷色草地芬芳像风没有形状
我却能够牢记你的气质跟脸庞
冷空气跟琉璃在清晨很有透明感
像我的喜欢被你看穿
摊位上一朵艳阳 我悄悄出现你身旁
你慌乱的模样我微笑安静欣赏

我顶着大太阳 只想为你撑伞
你靠在我肩膀 深呼吸怕遗忘
因为捞鱼的蠢游戏我们开始交谈
多希望话题不断园游会永不打烊
气球在我手上 我牵着你瞎逛
有话想对你讲 你眼睛却装忙
连蛋糕跟你嘴角果酱我都想要尝
园游会影片在播放 这个世界约好一起逛

~周杰伦

:)

~~ewe just made my day without knowing it~~

bAd daY

frustration speaks for itself. needs no explanation nor questions. when u ask, it only goes to show that u dun understand one. that's abt it.

work's terrible today. everyone's bugging me. i'm doing my job here ok?! shoot. buzz off n gimme a break.

wad can i say.. i miss ewe..

heAds heLd hiGh

juz typed this terribly long entry, den some irritating clumsy fool tripped d switches.. argh!! oh well. anyway the gist of it was that we lost yesterday, 59-25.. but i feel we did our best, n it was simply great. d game was great, d juniors were great too!! i mean they finally managed to warm up to us while we played, n haf become so much more vocal than when we first started training with them. d atmosphere was at its peak especially in d first half. well, then we kinda waned towards d last part but nvm we'll be better in d next match! apparently they beat us by 53 last year, so in relative comparison we did much better already! hehe.. cool huh..

as for myself, lots n lots of room for improvement. especially defence wise, still quite slack n sometimes blur. not gonna put myself down though! try even harder next time. i'm a ny gal man. n i'm damn proud of it. haha.. it's so nice of marc n liwei to come down n support us. oh n kalai too! she came in d end :) was also quite pleasantly surprised during d start of d game when i turned ard n saw guanhan, raymond n pengswee xdz standing rite behind our bench. hehe.. so happy man..

d game at the next court was so much more exciting man. aljunied vs ling yun. it was such a close fight but aljunied still emerged d winner with a score of 45-41. lingqin was kinda upset when i asked her abt it after that.. hmm, nvm eh? it was juz a bad day for them.. cheer up everyone!

walked to pl mrt station with min min, kalai n boy cuz we wanted to tk train home. half way after reaching city hall boy turned back cuz she went to look for hui. she was quite down. hmm.. dunno why, but hope she's much better now. cld tell she was kinda moody when i saw her in d changing room. everyone seemed pretty moody yesterday.. moody moody moody.. i got a lil moody myself too.. on d way out.. maybe i was juz too sensitive over some stuff. juz a glitch i suppose.. gotta sort out my thoughts la. will be fine.

kl: thanks for ur warmth ah! was really cold man :)

half my weekend

ok so here i am on a blogging spree. hehe.. guess it's cuz half my office ain't here.. been like this ever since the alternate saturdays policy started. managed to complete most of my stuff in half the day yest so now quite slack.. n i feel like making up for lost time, for all d entries that shd haf been here but were missed out on.

so i watched d match at sbc yest, peilee was playing too cuz they had a game agst pjc, n they won. saw so many of my ny juniors in a div la.. hmm.. then i was supposed to meet a grp of frens for dinner but chuanyan didn't feel well so i took the liberty of cancelling out on d rest to meet up with kalai n marc at yuhua for bball instead. so bad! but didn't mean it la.. didn't feel like eating at lau pa sat ma. *guilty look*

min min came along with me too.. surprise surprise! yuhua was so crowded last nite. we played a couple of games.. was trying to play proper cuz wanna prepare for upcoming matches ma. then we played with this irritating team n this irritating guy juz turned ard n elbowed me in my right shoulder!! ouch la!! so pain man. bleah. gonna get a real bad bruise. shitty luck. well on the whole it was a good work out, though many things irritated me for a while. but now am fine again so yep.

the lot of us hung out till pretty late at the play ground so kalai decided to spend the nite at my house. turned out it was d craziest plan ever. didn't slp till 3am la. all the crazy bed shaking n shouting haha.. kinky eh.. getting all the wrong ideas already i can tell :) wadeva!! anyway i'm surprised my grandparents cld sleep thru all the racket we were making. talked (actually shouted n screamed) about all the things under the sun n moon man. realised how clueless abt so many things one can be. haha.. then we started talking abt more serious stuff so that we cld slowly fall aslp.. n lo n behold it was morning! hehe.. tt's abt it. got training later.. getting jerseys n all.. hope mine's the rite size!! *cross fingers* :)

oh our jerseys r red, my nike duffel is red, my new emily d strange wallet is red too.. gonna be so super reddish this tournament. if i use my new red umbro towel as well i'm gonna be juz short of new red bball shoes haha.. bleah.. sticking to my old lousy air force ones la.. wad to do.. no extra budget for shoes. wad a bummer.. but yay.. knocking off soon n going for training at 2! chaos~!

pick it UP AND get it ON

watched d match bet sa n jj. quite sad to say it was a tat bit disappointing. but of course i'm glad at least it was a good wake up call for them, say.. in the nick of time? perhaps it was a matter of confidence, or maybe more on the border of not doing wad they cld haf done altogether. as a team i mean. as they shd haf done. communication. encouragement. having the correct spirit. n so on. something was nagging at me while d match was underway. juz cannot seem to put a finger to it. was at their debrief after it ended. some were pretty sad. some in tears. some disappointed, most at themselves, some at others. seems to me most did not prepare themselves for the match in the appropriate mentality. in all aspects. TEAM sajc was momentarily left on the shelf?

we did however catch a glimpse of some of the girls' real ability towards the end. though we as extremely concerned seniors can only do so much as watch from the side, most helplessly at times, doing wadeva we can to cheer them on. screaming like crazy. telling some of them endlessly 'u shd do this or that' n blah blah blah.. trying to impart our experience to our utmost ability. but hey, our times haf passed us by. n no matter how hard we try, they wouldn't noe how we feel till they've crossed the border over to the oldies' side. cuz they're the ones on court now. we can only do so much for them. apart from that, the rest is up to them.

i hope we manage to do no more than juz be the support for u girls. i hope we do remember not to impose ourselves on u, our dear small ones. i sincerely believe in u n u will rise to the occasion. n wadeva We achieve ulitmately, We will always be full of pride. for We are one, n the Saints' Spirit burns ever so brightly. Amen.

thE uLtimaTe oriGinaL InventEd imPromTu tIny pOem

The cab
Ran over the cat
That's so sad
-----

so lyrical.. and melancholic.. really.. :~|

specially dedicated to marc n kalai ;) hehe..

all matches at sbc!!!

and so it is.. the fixtures for women's lan zong's out.. i muz say ny alumni's draw is pretty tough. but we're juz gonna cross our fingers n hope for the best. try our hardest. we're playing for the purpose of juz playing together anyway. hope no one gets injured or anything though..

sunday 24/04/05 tanglin qunyan 8.30pm court 1

sunday 01/05/05 ling yun 5.30pm court 2

thurs 12/05/05 aljunied 8.45pm court 2

bleah.. it's really like the worst draw we can get. but oh hell.. juz enjoy the games la. i'm feeling so much excitement as the first match draws near. anxiety.. anticipation.. apprehension.. cuz it's been ages since i last played a proper tournament man.. hope everything goes well for ny.

peAce

i wish u well in all u do. wherever life leads yOu. wadeva happens to you. however far yoU may be. all in a nutshell.

disaPoinTed

hmm.. ny lost quite badly 2 ahs. but ahs deserved to win. they're tt good, n actually so much better in many aspects. think jiaolian's already glad tt we made it 2 the finals n all. after the whole thing some of us seniors went out to join in the debrief. cld tell she was pretty upset when she attempted to sum up the whole year n season. i juz hope d sec 3s can reflect on their behaviours thus far n manage to pick themselves up after this. it wld be sad if they lost d nanyang spirit juz like that. i gotta admit ny's no longer wad she used to be. perhaps jiaolian's getting on in years has something to do with it. quite sad..

didn't watch the full boys' match. cat high emerged champs ultimately. apparently they had many imported players, hong kong n malaysia n all but i think unity didn't put up tt bad a fight either. oh well.. had lunch with kalai, siting n cheryl at mos burger. realised after a while the atmosphere was kinda weird, but at times it wasn't. cuz kalai's crapping n getting her head knocked onto the next table was quite an effect haha.. anyway it's really not my business to be nosey but juz can't help noticing noe?! :) hope all's well for everyone.

ok so tired out n starting to feel unwell for real. legs gonna duan soon. still got training tmr at 4. my head is still aching from lack of sleep. still very bleah. over n out.

Learn How To Let Go

Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl. One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at$2.50. How she wanted that necklace and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, "Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an awful lot of money. I'll tell you what. I'll buy you the necklace, and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for the necklace. And don't forget that for your birth-day Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too. Okay?" Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her. Jenny worked on her chores very hard everyday, and sure enough, her Grandma gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday.

Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls. How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere - to kindergarten, bed, and when she went out with her mother to run errands. The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower - her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green.

Now Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his favorite chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story. One night when he finished the story, he said, "Jenny, do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you," the little girl said. "Well, then, give me your pearls." "Oh daddy, not my pearls!" Jenny said. "But you can have Rosie, my favorite doll. Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday. And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?" "Oh no, darling, that's okay." Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss. "Good night, little one." A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you." "Well, then, give me your pearls." "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do you remember her? She's my favorite. Her hair is so soft, and you can play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you want her, Daddy," the little girl said to her father. "No, that's okay," her father said and brushed her cheek again with a kiss. "God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams."

Several days later, when Jenny's father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling. "Here, Daddy," she said, and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside. She let it slip into her father's hand. With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box. Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls. He had them all along. He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing.

So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasure. Isn't God good? Are you holding onto things which God wants you to let go of? Are you holding onto harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities which you have become so attached to that it seems impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do believe this one thing... God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place.

tAke a rIde tO thE otHer sIde

now in the midst of a very interesting n farnie n excited conversation bet cheryl n audrey. haha.. d latter is recalling a near fighting scenario bet her n sandra during one ite comb training. it sounds so incredible. i haf nv seen girls really fighting b4. cool! but they didn't la.. haha..

anyway i feel so full now, juz cooked noodles n some of the half fried oyster egg thingey that foong taught. delicious! hey carm we shd get together for some luncheonn egg again soon! heh.. feelin kinda sleepy already.

had a good talk with drey last nite. think it was very nice. it had been quite some time since i last saw her proper. cleared up many things with her, told her wad i really thot of some incidences that has happened in recent times n all. always 2 sides to a coin. diff experiences diff circumstances diff viewpoints. no right n wrong i suppose. but it still doesn't make me think any diff of anyone. juz in the loop now for both sides. n i shall not judge. for a start eh? juz hope i'm not misunderstood in anyway though. i'm still me. n i still feel the same regarding u, yupz..

so tired.. gonna slp soon i guess.

gonna watch the b div finals tmr! so excited, hope my juniors play very well n get champs. i might cheer like crazy la.. anyway jiayou!!

jaded

hmm.. haf some time to doodle on my key board since the boss n lady are out for 3 whole days!! they've gone to batam for some seminar/course thingey.. hehe.. kinda relaxing in the office now. went shoppin with this aunty from work yesterday. can get along with her really well, dunno why.. we tk d bus 2 work together almost every morning. if i manage 2 get my butt up earlier that is! we went to this really in place for nowadays' aunties. we went to sheng siong! that's where all d old ones go cheap! cheap! haha.. the prices r really competitive though i gotta admit. so i strolled ard n i bought a new bin! guess i did more shopping than aunty bee lian man! haha..

met up with marc n kalai n xdz after tt at yuhua but it was quite late though. n i hadn't planned on playing ball so didn't bring any change or shorts either. was there as a supporter! haha.. they were playing agst this team with this really irritating ite tampines girl. bleah.. out of point anyway.

i realise i haf been pretty critical of everyone lately. maybe i'm juz being judgemental. i mean towards those i apparently dislike. duh. like the non living thing. yucks! 'it' sucks! glad i dun ever hafta talk to 'it' again. then i dun like this girl. can't stand that guy. sigh.. it's bad i know. but sometimes i juz get so carried away. i suppose it's also got to do with my dampened mood swings lately. many things haven't been going my way at all n i hate it despite knowing there're always reasons for them.

i can't be like You. always so perfect. so flawless. i used to tell myself i shdn't judge. that side of me seems to have vanished altogether the day i realised i was totally betrayed by You. nothing is absolute. thanks to You now i'm sure of that. but then again, do i know where my priorities lie? i'm looking too much into secular stuff. God seems to have faded into the background. it shdn't be this way. n what shd i be doing abt this. maybe if i had more of Him in my life i wldn't be in this state. i shd start going back to church. whee.. all the shoulds n should nots. bleah.

on a much gentler note, i get really crazy when i hang out with kalai n marc. like last nite. haha.. cuz kl's as mad as a deranged bird when she gets started. we laugh all the time abt the silliest things. she makes me laugh at her. marc pops up with the stupidest of farnie comments. i get all the fun. then i'm not so uptight. it's time to really move on.

think i sound rather incoherent. do forgive. blah.

--jaded: worn out; wearied--

juz another weekend

~~and also, when you realise you have clashing personalities with somebody, learn to accomodate.
or else it will be a big disaster.~~

juz took this off foong's blog. food for thot eh? cuz d other day i was having this mini discussion with carmie over lunch. n was tellin her out of d blue i felt like dying. haha.. i can be really weird sometimes. n there she was trying to get the reason why i said that. n i juz cldn't put it across. 'obligations' was d best i cld do but it ain't juz that u noe. anyhow that's when she drew me back to this entry of foong's. haha maybe i'm suffering from bipolar disorder juz like van gogh right em? maybe juz not that serious. but van gogh really had a hell of a life man. heh. anyway it was exasperating not having been able to explain myself so i walked off 2 d ladies thinkin i was gonna cry. did not. conclusion: it had 2 be d restaurant that was depressing me haha..

it felt like a lazy sat afternoon. after lunch we walked ard lot 1 for a bit. then carmie was meeting her family for dinner n i was gonna get changed then head for kx boys trainin. but i dozed off at home instead n when i got there it was already pretty late, they were finishing their '打队'. bleah. so i had dinner with marc n some of d boys at this really good malay food place at batok after that. then jio-ed kalai 4 a movie. in d end min n peilee came too n we played pool at bt timah. then had prata after tt. then played 1 game of indian poker of which kalai lost n had to stuff another prata into her system haha.. oh i think planta prata is nice! discovery courtesy of miss peilee :) shall eat that next time i go there.

all headed back 2 my abode n squeezed into my big bed with my mom also in d room. a tat bit weird but she was in a good mood so yup. wasn't that bad really. they were laughing like mad when they heard her call me. pleh.. then she spent d whole morning watchin winter sonata. we kinda have a fetish for sappy love stories i realised, despite having to admit this means i actually have something in common with her, interests wise.

woohoo.. we slept amost a whole sunday away man! we woke up, ate, n watched my girl. then pl n kl slept some more! tsk tsk.. so piggy.. anyway they went home n i went to play ball so yeah. end of story. heh.. finally..

whY

hurt. dun understand why u're doing this. at least tell it to my face. am i now being made to feel wad someone else is feeling? is that the real reason? if so, i'd pretty much juz forget abt u as well. i dun care. not anymore. dun ever be nice to me again. ever.

was gonna go on with my story for d few days left but guess i'm juz really not in d mood. well the gist of it is tt i played ball at yuhua, quarrelled with something irritating along the way, hung out with marc n kalai, watched pacifier with kalai on wed (which was quite fun by the way, it's a riot talkin nonsense with her), ended work early on thur n went to look for marc with kalai (so tt means we hung out again).. yeah.. there.. done.. now tt's really short n sweet.

rite.. met up with kat, wj n shanice late last nite. had supper at bt timah then to play pool. well actually juz wj n i cuz d girls were juz lazing ard in d couch. attempted 2 coach shanice on how to play pool but i'm quite bad so dun really noe how. shd ask wj to teach. he's good noe. i'm not really a pool person anyway so yup.. bball's still more for me.

it's sat.. n i haf nothing to do later. so ironic. usually my sats r full. but for today, alumni training's in d morning so obviously i can't be there. afternoon is free cuz d training was shifted up.. yeah.. n it's such a chore to go back home first den come out for kx training again later.. so i shall juz wander aimlessly to while away the time i guess.. bleah..

fiLLing in thE spAces

haven't blogged in like a long time man, cuz work is occupying the whole of my day in d office nowadays. of course tt actually shd be happening everyday i'm here la, so when i dun blog it means i haf no time to slack! hehe.. anyhow, think my week has been most eventful with some interesting happenings as well as some unhappy stuff here n there, shall try 2 keep it short.

friday
so after work i went to play ball at yuhua with marc n kalai n some xdz. quite fun, had a good work out. esp since i was pittin against some useless nitwit. it was fun. haha.. so mean. then d 3 of us hung out at d coffeeshop for a while, juz had drinks cuz all quite broke. but guess wad? while we were accompanying kalai on d bus 2 bt batok mrt i suggested going 2 get d famous chompang nasi lemak n poof.. we were there.. haha.. so broke le still go. but it was hilarious. we were in such crappy moods n making funny animal sounds haha, prolly a bit high from such good n sinful supper. it was great, so we decided 2 do it again on wed. gonna watch pacifier den haf cpnl again.

saturday
slept till pretty late, woke up n had to do some stuff at my old house. den i headed for ntu staff club/lounge to help my fren out with the party late evening. red was the party's theme so everyone was donning red this or that. my fren commented tt it was like d 'ang moh hong deng qu' haha. most of d pple were exchange students so it went quite wild. booming loud music n excessive drinking was really normal. pple juz got drunk like no one's business. after it ended we had a 2nd session at matt's room. showed us all his stuff n photos of his hometown helensburgh while we had some vodka lime. juz chilling out i suppose. then i left n went to get some food, thereafter headed for marshall's house where marc, nic n zhiwei were waiting for me to play mahjong haha. busy nite eh! was actually dead beat but didn't mind meetin them anyway.

mj session was ok la, but last minute marshall played instead of nicholas n even more last minute he won on a five doubles formation. on a self picked card some more. bleah.. no win no lose for me! weilin came over in the early sunday morning n both of us went for breakfast in town. my day still ongoing from d previous n i swear i wld haf fallen aslp rite away if we had gone to watch tt movie. ended up going home on my own cuz i had to concuss on my bed already.

sunday
barely had 3 hrs of slp when i was woken up by a phonecall. kat said she had something 2 pass to me. met her n wj at lot 1 in d end. had yogurt n some snacks which were quite good. waited for carmie to come after they left for home. been so long since i last saw d girl. n d boy too. he came later. n we watched miss con 2. twice already for me, but still enjoyed it veh much.

knocking off soon, think i shall continue when i haf time :)

picking up my pieces again

hmm.. so much for ultra depressing stuff eh.. shall re-cap on wad happened in my week.

monday
had half day due to tt night's stock taking at jurong point branch. so decided to join marc for his coaching session at guangyang in d late afternoon. was quite apprehensive at first. but it was quite fun in d end. loved d defence part. quite cool 2 train dem lidat. my jiaolian's a genius haha.. anyway, didn't realise how tiring it was till we were walking out after d whole thing. bleah.. d half day break was meant 4 all of us 2 get some rest so tt we cld last till next morning, but i went ahead n played some more bball at teban b4 i rushed home 2 get changed n all. no doubt d night event in its entirety was exhausting, but on d whole it was fun, sorta like an informal yet formal get together with various levels in d company n outlets. of course we had 2 work our butt off n stuff, but it was quite enjoyable. plus we get a free ride home n d next day free from work! heh.. i didn't mind it at all :)

slept almost d whole tuesday away man. tt wasn't my plan at all! thot i cld wake up at mid-day n go out or something. bleah.. woke up in time only for a really early dinner.. so yeah.. it was so slack though, n i liked tt.. kinda.. spent d rest of d day cathing friends vcd. borrowed dem from wei. she's got like d whole collection can! haha.. good for me!

watched miss congeniality 2 on wed with wei. loved it. sandra bullock's one of my fave. she stayed over my place, we had no previous knowledge tt my mom was gonna be home whatsoever, but it was a peaceful night despite tt. haha.. i sound really mean. we were all in a good mood though. thank God.

thurs.. nothing much.. haha.. tt's abt it.. i haf off tmr!! hehe.. happy.. shall explain why next time.. chaos!

reality bites

i missed d wake. i'm d freakin coward escapist. do i not noe how 2 face death?! how come i chose 2 back out?! is it cuz i feel i'm incapable of dealing with d situation? or do i juz not want to grapple with issues of death again. nice try huh, proclaiming tt i'm a changed person with refreshed views n perception after reading some book, den when death really throws itself in my face, i chickened out. is dis a test? if it is den i'm gonna hafta say i flunked it. real bad. dun think i can bear 2 see d look on benny's face. he wld be juz like my bro when he died.

same. cold. hard. pale. pasty.

benny left juz as abruptly.

God i hate it. why.

old frenships

hmm.. wanted 2 catch a ten plus movie at pS but decided 2 juz sit ard n stone dere when we realised only d most front row was left. met quite a few pple dere. d minute i stepped into pS n was wondering where 2 walk next, shiyin tapped on my shoulder. she was catching the eye 10 with her sec sch frens. we had a short chat cuz it's like i haven't seen her for quite some time. talked abt how small d world is n all, as we noe foong n christine. anyway she happened 2 pop by christine's house n i was quite surprised she actually bothered to tell shiyin abt our trip 2 genting together abt like 2 years ago? even showed her d photos n all. hmm.. well ok. it was really fun n memorable anyway. yeah.. i wld give anything 2 go there again.

saw evelyn a lil later when i was in d queue for tickets. she's into teaching now! lucky kids eh, such a pretty teacher! heh.. den when i went 2 d ladies 2 wash my hands after eating, i saw charmaine. she's still as bubbly as ever can! told me she was juz chillin n hangin out with d sa council pple of her batch. it's nice dey still meet up now n den. after tt i turned d corner n was walkin back when i bumped into hera, shulin n ivy. it's really a day of meetin old frens man. seems like many pple hang out in town on a weekend evening. haha, duh!! stopped n chat again. so much has changed since d last time i saw them. n to think i haf known them since my working days in borders. whoa.. those were my post jc days.. haha.. eons ago. so tt's abt it. gotta slp.. dog tired.. 5 am.. gosh.. d boys n marc r at jon's house, bet they're still playing mahjong or something.. hope dey're havin fun! :)

life n death

thank u kat n shanice for making my bdae so memorable. i mean, u girls didn't hafta do dis k, but d effort behind d present n all d precious words penned were really appreciated. truly touched n all. well u be sure tt i will definitely treasure it k? abt d things u all wrote on d card, ahem.. try ya? not tt i wanna be lidat all d time man. pls understand k? love u all!

well so much for thursday nite. as for 2day, i was having ny alumni training as usual when meihua called in d middle of nowhere. it's uncanny how i managed 2 pick it up juz as she called cuz my mobile was on silent mode n i had even switched off d vibration. juz so happened i was checking my phone when it rang. with it came really bad news. my jc guys bball team mate benny had juz passed away earlier on due 2 a motorcycle accident. apparently at tt point of time his body was being transported back 2 singapore from somewhere else, malaysia maybe. d wake was 2 be only a one day affair. dis news hit me quite hard. i mean i've been 2 wakes n all b4 but nv was it for someone tt close to me. sigh.. anyway it will be tmr. hope i can hold it in. i dunno how mei n some of them r gonna feel la, those much closer to him. especially bangwen n yaohui n kenny. n it's like his death anniversary falls on my vice cap xiaojia's birthday. there we were celebrating life n all.. shit.

the transcience of life...

祝我生日快乐

我知道伤心不能改变什么 那么 让我诚实一点
诚实 难免有不能控制的宣泄 只要关上了门 不必理谁

一个人坐在空荡包厢里面 手机 让它休息一夜
难 像切歌切掉回忆的画面 眼泪不能流过十二点

生日快乐 我对自己说 蜡烛点了 寂寞亮了
生日快乐 泪也融了 我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切

还爱你 带一点恨 还要时间 才能平衡
热恋伤痕 幻灭重生 祝我生日快乐

温岚


to yOu..

remember the happy

thanx all who remembered n sent me their well wishes :) thanx marc, kalai n zw for keeping me company, n in d end we had one hell of a time getting shit scared in someone's room n all. shan't elaborate i think haha.. it was still fun. thank u who literally spread d word ard to like so many of the kx n xl boys, embarrassing!! but these boys la, oh well nvm :) thanx also to kat n shanice, n for playing d silly prank on me. n to dear poor marcus who's got too many chicken poxes.. ur song was lovely :) hope u get well soon so we can see tt handsome face again!

was a lil disappointed i didn't hear anything from jeannie though. n someone as well. tt someone? oh, marc i noe who u're thinkin tt i'm thinkin abt.. but nope! u got it all wrong. hehe :) anyway was quite happy n it was all tt matters. thank u all. much love.

hits n misses

carmie's having her block test this week. hope everything goes well 4 her. she did seem rather worried when i bumped into her at mac on sunday. n a div's round d corner. but i haf confidence in her man. jiayou girl!
saw foong on sunday too but was in no mood whatsoever 2 tok much 2 them despite myself. wonder how he's doing.
emily's prolly real busy with school. haven't been hearing from her n all. hope she's good.
weiling's like disappeared since after ruthie's wedding.. dunno wad happened..
will be meeting up with kathryn n shanice this coming thurs after work. to get together n also to celebrate i guess. finally can see them man. been wanting 2 catch up with dem 4 so long.
poor lil marcus has got d chicken pox. farnie how he put a plaster on his forehead over wad he thot was an ugly bump during training on sat. den it came. luckily i've had it already.

so much for d frens i've been missing.

anyway some of ruthie's wedding photos were put up on d sa bball yahoo photos by san, but it turned out dere wasn't enuff storage space tt's y so far she had only managed to post like most of ah ma's photos up dere. quite farnie. all d boh liao photos, haven't even seen d real stars yet. so duh.

went yuhua last nite with weilin. marc n zhiwei n guanhan were dere. plus some xdz. i played a lil. shoulder hurt. stopped. ate. went home.

BLUES BLUes Blues blues....

hmm.. spent some alone time last evening. plenty of it. was surprisingly quite at peace with myself as i walked thru d throngs of pple in lot 1. realised a couple of things. things tt i took for granted n thot were there. or rather juz assumed were there. which turned out disappointing and all. silly me. y wldn't i learn my lesson. shdn't have such high expectations or anything u noe. one can only always depend on oneself. period.

eternity knows no bounds

harboured somewhere within the deep recesses of my mind there lies thoughts of yOu. healing wounds gape over time.. how funny this thing called time, should ironically be the only apparent tool promising hopes of alleviation from hurt. how humourous that it should ultimately and surely be the very epitome of my downfall. luring me into greater insanity. into greater solitude. incessantly driving one further into helplessness and despair. and where would yOu be if i were dead?

aLL things fouL and piTifuL.. aLL probLems greAt n smaLL..

ain't in a good mood. ain't got d cheers at all. weird tt i shd feel this way. had only been enjoying myself wasn't i?! thot i had lots 2 update. so much to saY. now even tt whim has fled me. wad is it?! i miss everything!! is concern a luxury??!! bloody system u haf here eh? darn.

cLoseR

hmm.. i haven't blogged 4 d darnest longest time!! work's piling up like mad n it's all cuz of dis stupid new system of receivings n stuff. bleah. on with d rest proper anyhow..

i finally got to watch closer on friday nite. wei was nice enuff 2 watch it with me again cuz she had already caught it with des. well marc said it wasn't veh good. but i kinda liked it. dunno man, our taste vary so much when it comes 2 movies haha.

crashed at wei's place again, n des was dere too. thot she was gonna be dead asleep when we got 2 d room but she woke up str away. it was like 2am can? turned out she juz had her tongue pierced in d afternoon (ouch!!) so she cldn't really slp well. den she had 2 hog all d pillows cuz being propped up on bed was a necessity else she'll drool all over. she can't really swallow her saliva properly u noe. wad a torture. plus she had 2 keep on imbibing really ice cold water almost thru'out d nite, which meant she had no slp, n neither did i. we shared d same bed ma. wei's bed. kinky! hah.. well wei had dis weird habit of not sharing d same bed with des whenever she stayed over so tt means she was sleepin on her gigantic crumpler bean bag on d floor while we had d bed. haha.. aiyah des was so poor thing la.. but getting her tongue pierced was somethin she had always wanted so yeah. she's like wad d hell man. anyway it was bad 4 me cuz i had ruth's wedding 2 attend d next day! woke up really groggy n all.

now 4 d wedding.. it was really sweet. d art museum was a great place, juz a tat bit small though. pple soon filled up d hall n spilled over 2 d side exits. saw many ex sajcians from my batch. anyway all of us bballers looked really diff on tt day man haha.. clad in skirts n dresses n wad nots.. i had alice help me put on some make up hehe.. n even ecstasy wore a dress! mr khoo like commented tt she 'gai3 bian4 xing2 xiang4' woohoo.. during d reception a few of us had dis special prog for ruth, we sang 'the prayer' but it was kinda screwed up 2wards d end.. sigh.. so embarrassing can!! sheesh.. on d whole it was an extremely hectic day 4 most of us cuz d girls started out with d bride n all early in d morning. heard dey had a gd time 'tekaning' d groom. anyway u can tell clifton really loves ruth juz by d way he sings 2 her man. he's like super well known 2 be unromantic from wad i've heard, but those two numbers he did were so touching la.. d brothers with all d roses looked kinda silly albeit sweet..

oh did i mention tt weiling looked really pretty in her gown? haha.. she's d bride's maid ma.. so besides d bride she's like d chioest liao la haha.. ya man.. bet many pple were juz so staring at her when she walked in. but still she looked a lil like a malay haha.. dunno who kept harping on it. but quite true la.. so means she's a very pretty malay looking girl. hiak hiak.. :)

haiyah.. run out of time again.. rest of d updates later den.. ploy!! haven't heard from u eh!! how u been?! :p

The Blower's Daughter

suddenly remembered dis song tt emily asked me 2 listen 2 some time back. nice..

---------------
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

Damien Rice

goOdniGht nA

received a really cute msg from 1 of my lil thai frens last nite. she ended it with 'goodnight na', n according 2 my junior hui, it's like our 'la' at d end of sentences, only it's actually a polite article.. hmm.. so i think we really a lot less polite haha.. haven't heard from all of dem in a while, n i stil haven't goten down 2 learning my thai yet! sheesh.. wad a procrastinator! if u recall, i actually mentioned in my very 1st entry i'm gonna call my best fren n all.. 2 fix things.. but u noe wad. i haven't done tt yet either! sigh. maybe i shd consciously put my words into actions more.

but juz feel i dun haf enuff time u noe. work till like 6 everyday, den after a while it's nightfall already. n dere r always so many things 2 do. hmm.. i muz get down 2 impt stuff 1st. rite now it's preparation for ruth's wedding dis saturday n all. my dearest sa senior cum fren. i dun even noe wad 2 wear yet! argh!! only haf dis skirt 2 start with, gotta get d top, n nice but formal shoes 2 go with it, n prolly some lil bag for my stuff, n gotta get some make up la, can't possibly borrow cuz it's like diff pple haf got diff skin colour, i may look freaky if i used someone else's. n i still dunno where 2 start. we're gonna perform a song 4 her n clifton, n d weding dinner's formal, so everything muz be proper. 1st time i'm fretting so much over a wedding, cuz it's ruth's mah.. wah!! so many things 2 get. shitty man. haha.. oh no, n with 2 days left too.. no! 2 evenings more exactly. den d thing is friday's out cuz we gotta rehearse d song again at em's house, we're juz not dere yet, need lots of final touch-ups. we're singing The Prayer, with some altered lyrics. so i haf 1 day 2 get my stuff, n tt's 2day! SEH~!!! can die.. blah blah blah.. so i realise now i can't watch closer with weilin unless it's like d 9 plus show cuz i gotta shop b4 tt. die Die DIE!! somebody save me..

aLwayS loOk on thE brighT side Of life.. doo doo.. doo doo doo doo doo doo..

hmm.. ok maybe i was a lil too emotional dere in d last entry.. griping abt everything n all.. sheesh! haha.. anyway dis is indeed one of my worst experience, dis bad knee of mine. n now it cld be bad shoulder n back.. darn, i'm like so coming apart can?! so if anyone wans 2 get 2 me dey'd noe wad 2 say. it drives me crazy. but den again, dere r still many more who're worse off n not as well n healthy as i am. so yeah.. i shd be thankful, n not go on lamenting abt wad all d dun haves n wad i cld haf hads. okies.. off with d baggage. shoo!!

anyway these few days haf been.. well.. quite fun n all.. weilin's a nice person to tok to.. yeah.. n i can jio her to watch closer with me! haha.. hmm.. tt's all den..

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

hmm.. went 4 dis show after work 2day with weilin. d movie 1st started off with quite a dark feel.. but it was still veered towards a happy ending so yeah. not bad. pretty amusing n all.. really loved d youngest kiddo girl called sunny. she's d coolest! d other 2 older kids cld act pretty well.. but jim carrey was quite an overkill. saw 2 much of him. or maybe i was juz biased cuz he was such a good bad guy. haha.. pun intended.

so here i am. somewhere else again. n it was juz as well cuz i met my fren online n she said somethin 2 me which i thot was quite scary. d whole chunk was embedded with many inner meanings which i haven't yet figured out. oh well. wadeva.

anyway wad i really wanted 2 type out were my feelings n thots as i was walking out of ny after alumni training on sat. not much of training really, mostly playing full court with d juniors.. tt was all. as i was abt 2 leave after i put in my last shot, of course i walked over 2 jiaolian n said my gd bye. den she said d same thing she has been tellin me all these years ever since i incurred my knee injury d 1st time. 'u're a smart player. n u play well. if not for ur knee u cld haf been in d national team.' she always says tt. national team??!! n as good as it may sound, i actually hated it. i haf always wondered, is she giving me more credit den i deserve? or does she really think tt highly of me? i dunno. for wad it's worth, it cld be like wad she said or it cld not. either way my deepest regret is NOT having d chance 2 prove it. n i will never hav it again. ever. shit.

dis is like d worst thing tt ever happened to me. nothin i haf experienced was even half as bad as dis. failed friendships bad results lousy kinships emotional void blah blah blah. nothin even came close. as i was walking alongside d ny compound d scene of how i got injured replayed itself in my mind.. again n again. n angry tears juz trickled down. sometimes i still lament at God. why He let this happen 2 me. n why me. since tt fateful day bball has nv been d same again. nv managed 2 do wad i wanted. always hindered by dis lousy glitch in me. freaking lousy me. i cld jus lash out at all d world n feel no consolation whatsoever. cuz dere's no one who cld restore me 2 myself. wad cld i do. wadeva. nothin else really matters anymore actually. if only i cld haf had tt one chance. to prove to myself wad i can really do. juz once. i can't look upon others now n not feel a thing. something always wells up in me. maybe it's plain disappointment. i juz feel so.. wad's d word.. inadequate. but i dun blame God. i mean.. how cld anyone blame Him rite?? sigh.. i juz noe i'm gonna regret wad i said here. aarrgghh.. SHIT!!

-she'LL be cOming rouNd thE mOuntAin-

plopsies!! d title was dedicated to u, thus plop! la.. it was meant as a pun n u didn't catch tt.. haha.. i'm not mountain k. u are.. try to decipher this title.. it's abt u too! :) u muz be really bored man.. i really pity u.. if i can find time i go thailand visit u k? den u can bring me ard, n in doing so, haf something meaningful to do heh..

anyway i thot i was gonna crash on my bed after i reached home at like 10 plus from meeting a fren last nite. turns out marcus jio-ed 2 go ktv, but as we were quite broke, we settled for a movie instead. so bathed n made my way 2 marcus' house 2 meet him n jinyi, where i bumped into christine, kaiting n shen downstairs. dey were playing cards n drinking. well kaiting n i chat 4 a while, d other didn't even acknowledge my presence. i mean wad gives man?! saying hi will die rite?! always act so cool n so act cool. -hurt- awww.. muahahaha.. crappy..

anyway marc, marcus, jinyi n i watched white noise at jp. regret! almost fell aslp. didn't really get d point of d movie. thot it wld haf fared much better. in d end d best part of d movie was d nachos n cheesy hotdogs hahahaha.. so tt was it. went home after tt. oh by d way jinyi fell down as we were making our way out from marcus' house. it was a really bad graze, on his left shin, cuz he missed d small drain, damn pain la! hope it's better now.

received some sad news yest from yan abt waikim's mom. she met with tt bad accident in malaysia. apparently it was reported on radio according 2 marc. musta been really major man. i feel sad 4 kim. i noe how it feels 2 lose a loved one. hope she'll be strong. will be attending d wake tonite with yan n mah. not really close 2 her but u noe. it's something i shd go 4 if i can make d time. maybe as a means of consolation? i dunno. but juz feel i shd go. okies.. chaos.

pLop! goeS the whiStLe..

ploy! haha.. nice to see ur comment here :) d dumb doodleboard decided 2 charge fees n juz deleted d thing off.. bleah.. didn't even bother 2 inform. irritating rite? hah. nvm, will haf something else put up soon. den u can tag dere ya?

it's getting more n more tiring at work. backstabbing on d rise as well. it's not good. juz realised how much shooting around of arrows is being carried out everyday rite under my nose. oh well. juz keep out of it. kena kena lor. wadeva.. heck! haha.. these 2 words. nice eh marc?

well nothin really interesting so far. met up with weiling n marcus n marc n hui to watch b div finals on wed. followed by ivp finals at sp. quite exhausting to be watching lidat. but d ivp guys' finals was worth every bit of my time. too bad nus lost by 2 in d end. thot dey cld haf won, it was juz so close.

end of d day, it was commented tt i was being very mean to someone. sigh.. maybe i really shd be more da fang. see how la. depends on my mood lor. haha.. chaos.

Vindicated

this song is best sung screamed out with all ur lungs in conviction. perhaps therapeutic in a way..

----------
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow-spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along and
I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated
So motivated
I am certain now that
I am

Vindicated
I am selfish I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along and
I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So turn up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my fingertips
Trace the moment for forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in too deep now
To ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away (4x)

Vindicated
I am selfish I am wrong
I am right, I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed, but I am cleaing up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

Dashboard Confessional

meAn strEak in mE

morning sms: 'i'm sorry. will u dun ignore me?'

no.

gosh.. wad haf i done?